Sunspots

What am I feeling right now...

Why must most of the things I do, I regret doing it. Okay, Maybe it not regret. But falling on love with someone that is already attach. It's wrong you see and I can't change it. I don't actually know what this is. Is it infatuation or the real deal.

I just really enjoy her company. I like it when I can be open to her, talk about what I am feeling and stuff. I just feel happy around her. Problems just fade away for a while when I'm with her. It feels as though life is worth living again. When I look into her eyes, it makes me feel like the world is in silent and all I can hear is her voice. Call me whatever you like but that is how I feel about her.

But what I can't take it is that what I'm feeling and doing is actually wrong. I feel as though I'm am trying to destroy something that is awesome. I just am not confident that I can do better than him. He did so many things for her and I feel as though what I'm doing is going to ruin her only chance to be happy.

I am so confused and tired right now. I do really really like this one. I just don't know what to do. Effendi did told me that I am falling in l*** to easily. I really hope this is not true.

I don't want to pester her too much. It will annoy her. Sms-ing and such.

It's killing me slowly. It's hurting me. By posting this, I am risking alot. I just don't know what else to do.

For now, I really want her to be happy. Even if I need to sacrifice my own happiness to do so, then so be it.

I know that I can't make her like me but whatever it is, I want her to know that I will always be here, ready to listen and help whenever she is in need.

I really hope that you don't be mad at me for this post.



For the rest...

I'm not trying to be emo. Just that I want to remember all the hardships that I've been through. So that whenever I am feeling cocky or arrogant, this blog will put me back to my place.

Thanks for reading and bye.