Sunspots

It's Been Awhile...

2011-09-27T07:43:00.002+08:00

It's been awhile since I've posted anything on here.

Many things have happened lately. Done with National Service. Currently unemployed right now. I know no one is reading this right now, so I guess I can be truthful here. Life's been very hard for me now, financially and socially. Friends come and go but I'm still here clinging to everything that is cling-able.

Been lying to my close friends lately, saying that I'm currently working with my mom lately but as the matter of fact, I've been unemployed for 4 months now. I guess I was ashamed while everyone else out there is living a happy life. Parents have been pestering me about when am I gonna get a job. I'm blessed to have such understanding and patient parents. I honestly been taking them for granted. I do feel very bad that 'til now I've still not tried to get a job.

Socially, still a wreck.

Time for me to buck up I guess. Can't keep on living this lie. I will make something out of myself like it or not. The fear of rejection will still be there. But until when I can hold on much longer?Rejection is part of the process but I will still try though.

Please God, I hope you will guide me through this tough journey of mine. I will try my best. Hope to update here more often. God Speed.

296

2010-03-07T07:44:00.002+08:00

Should I react to everything impulse-ly? Without thinking. Just do it. After thinking back I would be a huge dick if I do. Things that I would do, very cheebye.

I'm too emotional? Yes, I would prefer to merajuk than to be pissed and cuss everyone around me. Who would you want to deal with more? A pissed of Fadzli who you never seen before cause I always merajuk all this while? or the merajuk Fadzli? You guys know why I decide to merajuk all this while? I feel that it's a best way to show that you're disappointed at something.

Well, it seems that it's not appreciated. Fine.

295

2010-01-22T23:17:00.002+08:00

Days passed now. I'm now feeling like crap as always. But heck, as long as everyone around me is happy right? Blargh. I guess It's better to not even think about it.

I think I'm going to concentrate more on my gaming obsession. Aww fuck, who am I kidding?! I NEED HER!!! FUCK!!!

294

2010-01-14T16:48:00.013+08:00

293

2010-01-13T19:31:00.004+08:00

Hey. I did say that I'm going to explain the sudden outburst on Facebook yesterday night. I wanted to, really wanted to but I realise that whatever I'm going to post yesterday night would be solely base on anger, disappointment and a whole lot of pissed off emotion. My thinking would be clouded and the post wouldn't be that wise.

So, I decided to take one day to think about it. After much thought, I'm still upset though. No longer pissed or angry. I just felt upset cause it's just fucked up. I really thought she was different. Well, in my mind, I see her as a deep and close friend. Someone who I could built a relationship with. Someone who gave a soggy ass shit about me. I was totally wrong. She is just like the others. Not "Shallow Fucks". But a simple regular girl. Searching for Mr. Right. I can't accept her for her decisions but who am I to say anything about it.

I did text her while I was in driving course. Every day, every night. Whenever she replied, I always smiled. But then, trouble came. I injured my knee. I was going through a tough time. Hence, I stop messaging her. Trying my best to not letting her know what was actually happening to me. Cause I know that she also have her problems to face. I tried my best to recover. Aced all my theory tests in one try. But then, I was pulled out of course.

Well, what more can I say? They are together now. Who am I to judge her? Who am I to say that she's "shallow"? Well, she was so special to me once but I fucked up. She was wonderful. She was hot. Maybe she is still. But, I really wish that things would turn out a different way. But things have happened and I can't do anything now.

Like I said, being "the nice guy" sucks. But someone have to be one right? But for how long? I don't know.

I'm sorry for calling you "shallow" I guess. It was unappropriate and I was truly pissed at that point. It's okay if you decide not to accept my apology. I understand. I'll stay away for good now. Goodbye and have a great life ahead. I will always remember the good times we had. Thanks and appreciate it. :)

Meh............

292

2009-10-28T17:04:00.002+08:00

I'm going to Sembawang Camp tomorrow. The last thing I want to do is see your face before I go in. But apparently it's not going to happen I guess.

Kinda nervous and excited at the same time. It's been awhile since I've stayed in. Surely, it's gonna be boring the first few days. I'm feeling exactly the same as the day that I have to go to Tekong. That, "Urgh... my life is over..." kinda feeling.

Wish me luck guys. Hope to see you soon. :)

291

2009-10-25T21:17:00.002+08:00

Lyrics:

This world will never be what I expected
And if I don't belong who would have guessed it
I will not leave alone everything that I own
To make you feel like it's not too late, it's never too late

Even if I say it'll be alright
Still I hear you say you want to end your life
Now and again we try to just stay alive
Maybe we'll turn it around 'cause it's not too late
It's never too late

No one will ever see this side reflected
And if there's something wrong who would have guessed it?
And I have left alone everything that I own
To make you feel like it's not too late, it's never too late

Even if I say it'll be alright
Still I hear you say you want to end your life
Now and again we try to just stay alive
Maybe we'll turn it around 'cause it's not too late
It's never too late

The world we knew won't come back
The time we've lost can't get back
The life we had won't be ours again

This world will never be what I expected
And if I don't belong

Even if I say it'll be alright
Still I hear you say you want to end your life
Now and again we try to just stay alive
Maybe we'll turn it around 'cause it's not too late
It's never too late

Maybe we'll turn it around 'cause it's not too late
It's never too late
It's not too late, it's never too late

**To whom it may concern. Don't give up on life. Cause there will always be someone there. You are never alone. Even if you think that you're always alone. Together, you will overcome everything and anything. Be strong and don't be afraid.

290

2009-10-18T15:53:00.007+08:00

Whoa. It's been ages since I've updated my blog. Plain laziness and restriction of time played a huge part. But now, I'm confident enough to say that, I'm back.

Eventhough I'm back, will there even be anyone out there reading this? Haha. Well, fuck it, here it goes.

Life have been really busy. Thinking that 8-5 timing would be alot easier than staying in, but I have to admit that staying in would be more worth it. Reaching home, to tired to even do anything. I'm not talking about physical tiredness. That, I can take it. Being mentally tired is 20 times worse than being physically tired.

Others might think that Driver life is easy. To some extent, it is easy. But, to some extent, it's hell. I won't waste time explaining cause there will always be ignorant bastards that will say it's a walk in the park. "There are other vocations that is harder". I agree. Without a doubt. But all vocation have it's perks.

Aww fuck, I'm explaining. Blurgh. -.-

Love life, stagnant. Nothing to say about that. Been chasing this girl for ages, but when it finally happened, thought that there was a chance. I was wrong. "I'm not ready", she said. Til' when must I wait? I've had enough. Seeing you giving chances to asshole that don't even deserve you.

While I lay here waiting.

Pfft... I'm saying something about it. Blurgh. -.-

Okay, Listen to this!!! FIFA 10!!! Whootzorxxburg!!!

289

2009-07-10T13:32:00.003+08:00

Going through a hard time right now. Never been so tired in my life before. Being at home only on the weekends really made me cherish my time more.

Love life still stagnant 'til mosquitoes have laid their eggs in it. Not in a rush though. I got much more important things to concentrate on right now.

Will update more soon. If there are people reading this.

Are there?

288

2009-05-06T12:49:00.006+08:00

I've not been myself lately. Trying too hard to be accepted. Changing myself to suit others' needs. But I realised something yesterday night. People will often judge. You can never run away from it. It's all up to an individual to accept it willingly or to go on and fight it.

I judge people alot and I don't ever look back and sigh in regret. I've grown up amongst the toughest sons of bitches there is. Tough love is always given to me. Never have I been spoon-fed with affection whatsoever. Yeah, life is totally cruel and like it or not, it's going to stay that way.

You can never be accepted by everyone. Someone will not fancy you, hate you or what not. All I can do now is be myself and be liked by whoever fancy me. I don't need to change ever. Someone thought me that yesterday. I think you know who you are. So, Thanks. :)

Something to say -> It's everywhere, deal with it...

287

2009-05-04T15:54:00.004+08:00

Okay, stupid of me to even try. But I just found out that she just got single. So, I asked her if she would give me the chance to... you know... Hahaha! Pffft... Really dumb of me to even think that It would happen. The most dumbest sentence I've ever heard period. You know what's her reason this time? HAHAHA!!! She don't like to get hitched with friends. GOOD!!! AWESOME!!! Hahahaha!!!

Guess she can only get hitched with strangers. Kinda dumb thinking from a Poly student. I'm not actually pissed at the decision. I'm actually find the reason kinda funny! Hahahaha!!!

What more can I say? All the best... :)

Something to say -> My life goal have just changed. :)

286

2009-04-27T11:39:00.005+08:00

[Chorus: She Wants Revenge]

She's too invested in the hours that pass her by
I'd pay attention if I thought it was worth the time
I'd tell her easy but her hands, they find a way
Confusing passion for the love he never gave
Fall back on reasons that we know won't stand a chance
Watching her shoulders like a memory from the past
I'd tell her easy but her hands, they find a way
Confusing passion for the love he never gave

285

2009-04-16T03:36:00.002+08:00

I can't seem to sleep this past few days. Whenever I close my eyes, you will appear.

I don't want it to happen again. But I just can't seem to forget you. It's just too hard and painful. Please make it better. Please.

284

2009-04-11T00:09:00.002+08:00

What am I doing at home so far? All i did was play lots of video games and eat. Why? Cause it makes me happy. ITE peeps just made another outing. Sadly, I wasn't able to attend cause I was feeling unwell. I'm still having this constant migraine. Now I know how Hafizah feels. Fucking hate it.

Playing the drums rocks! But the bass pedal is still a bitch. Either I hit it early or late. Always. Haha. But playing the guitar is much more preferred for me. I'm training myself to play on the drums though.

I just got Godfather II too. At the beginning, The controls are kinda complicated. Lots of things to do and such but once you get the hang of it, I think it's kinda fun. Taking over Rackets and such. I still prefer The Godfather compared to The Godfather II.

I can't seem to "digg" Chris Cornell new album. I really had an open mind when I'm listening to it. It's like asking Lady GaGa to do Rock music. The beats are like recycled beats. I really feels that Timbaland is screwing Chris Cornell. The beats, some how not up to his standards. But What the heck. I still can't get enough of Lady GaGa's Album. What more can I say, I'm a bitch to catchy music. No harm right? I just listen to everything except Techno, Trance and Mastodon. That's all. Hahaha. :P

That's all for now. Weird. Something's missing in this post. Hmm...

283

2009-04-03T01:18:00.000+08:00

It's finally here. I finally have the whole band set. 2 guitars, 1 microphone and a drum kit. I bought them one by one though. Dumb of me to do so. But, FINALLY!!! YEEEHAAAA!!!

282

2009-03-31T00:49:00.001+08:00

I love my mum too much and hate to see her cry.

My mum is the only women that truly love me and seeing her cry is painful.

....

281

2009-03-17T02:10:00.003+08:00

A few days have passed since I've graduated from ITE. It's been different. Very different indeed. Even how late I sleep, my body clock keeps waking me up at the timing that I usually wake up for school. Kinda Annoying actually. Then, I have to sleep during the afternoon cause all my energy is gone by 11+ am. Which totally sucks!

Emotionally, I've been coping well after school have ended. Firstly, I thought that life is going to be freaking hard. Constantly, thinking of her and stuff. But I guess the final chat session we had together really woke me up. I will never be with her. I guess that is what I really needed. A plain ol' rejection from the coldest mountain.

Even though after everything, the weird attraction on this certain some one can't seem to stop. It's a very weird feeling. But, as usual, a part of me is saying, "Guarantee cannot get one lah. Fuck, why even try???"

I'm starting to wonder, how's Nasehah doing? Hahaha.

280

2009-03-11T20:38:00.002+08:00

It's over now. You're free. I mean nothing to you now.

My feelings towards you will never change though.

By the way, I'm missing Asilah already. Hahaha. :D

279

2009-03-06T00:06:00.003+08:00

Will I miss ITE life?
Yes.

Have ITE thought me something more other than usual school stuff?
Yes.

If yes, what is it?
Girls rule, Guys drool. (-_-")

Will I keep in touch with them after school have ended?
Depends.

Have the experience in ITE been an enjoyful one?
Mostly, not. But there is a fair share of enjoyment.

Who will I miss the most? Why?
Nazirah, because she have taught me alot.

Who will I least miss?
The teachers.

If there is a chance to change what have been done, what would it be?
Falling...

The least thing expected to happen that happened?
Knowing more about Hafizah. Jajaja! :D

The suckiest thing to happen?
Falling for a lesbian. HAHAHA! :P

Anything else to add?
It was fun to know all of you. It's been a blessing to be a part of your lives. I will surely miss all of you. If I did anything that might have hurt you or anything that cause sucky feelings, I really do apologise. With extreme luck and effort, I hope our lives will cross again.

278

2009-03-02T22:20:00.005+08:00

Lyrics:

This is how it’s been, this is how it will be
and when you wake up with him, remember when it was me
and I always will be waiting for you
and I know that you will never see...that

I can’t break away from these chains to my heart
the further you push me the closer you are
maybe I should try to let go
maybe I should try to walk away
there’s nothing left to say, yeaheeyeah

Do you remember when, you used to laugh there with me
and now I’ve become the joke, a punchline’s all I will be
and I always will be waiting for you
and I know that you will never see ...that

I can’t break away from these chains to my heart
the further you push me the closer you are
maybe I should try to let go
maybe I should try to walk away
there’s nothing left to say

You’ll be waiting for the rest of your life
just so you can finally hear me say
These words don’t mean a thing but I’ll say them anyway
...anyway, yeah

I can’t break away from these chains to my heart
the further you push me the closer you are
maybe I should try to let go
maybe I should try to walk away
there’s nothing left to say...but

I can’t break away from these chains to my heart
the further you push me the closer you are
maybe I should try to let go
maybe I should try to walk away
there’s nothing left to say, yeahheahh
‘cause I can’t break away

277

2009-02-23T22:05:00.002+08:00

276

2009-02-17T20:36:00.002+08:00

Should I just drop everything? Or should I keep on pursuing what I believe is right? I can't be selfish. I think the better thing to do is just drop it.

She have already found someone and keeping distance is the only way right now. I need to keep myself cool and try my best to keep everything as normal as possible. It's better that she knows nothing about my feelings for her and I must keep my distance.

I think that's all for now.

275

2009-02-16T19:26:00.003+08:00

Words can't describe what I'm truly thinking right now. It's always been this weird feeling and now it's getting worse. But should I just shut the hell up and just act as though nothing is happening? Cause experience have thought me that if I were to make that move, everything will change.

I shouldn't fall for her. I just need to chill and realize what I'm doing. It's been too complicating and the chances of it happening is way small. I'm just confused.

274

2009-02-15T19:59:00.004+08:00

Why try even though you know that no chance will be given to you? Obviously the hope of wanting it to happen is the reason to 'try'. Majority of the time, life's cruel truth tends to happen. Rejection and what not. Then, it takes time to accept the fact and realized that nothing will happen even though you tried your utmost best. It will hit you like you've never been hit before but you need to suck it up and move on. The 'moving on' seems to be the most hardest part. Listen to the song "The Man Who Can't Be Moved" by The Script and you will understand.

With extreme luck, you will find another special someone who could make you feel like you're on top of the world but then you hesitate and think that the history will happen again. It will slow you down, then when you realized that it's worth the risk and you soldier on. You then realized that nothing will make you feel lower than previously. Not until rejection comes again.

You never seem to feel numb after getting it so many times. Each time, it grows much more painful. Then you listen to the song "Under the Bridge" by the Red Hot Chilli Peppers. This is just one scenario. What if a Chance is give to you? Will you grasp it and make full use of it? Or will you just waste it away and regret after that.

Chance have never been given to me. I have to fight for that chance and prove myself worthy. But no matter how I strive, failure is bound to happen. That made me stronger and with every rejection, I grow. I learn. And I move on to improve myself.

But when will I get a well deserve chance?

Will you give it to me?

I hope so...

273

2009-02-14T04:43:00.005+08:00

Firstly, I would like to wish all of you a Happy Valentines Day.

Things have been foggy as ever. I never understand what I'm doing cause I'm realizing that I'm getting myself into the same 'ol problems over and over again. Some might ask why the hell am I doing so? It's all in my nature I guess. A single strand of hope might drive some people to pursuit whatever they want in life. That was how I lived my life previously. Solely based on hope and wishing for the best to happen. Hope is all gone in my life. Hope just brought nothing but sadness. But I guess life is not filled with dandelions.

I spent time with this young girl yesterday evening. Whenever I talk to her, I tend to read her and try my best to understand what she is truly thinking. She's a really lucky girl to have alot of guys chasing her but her struggle to find the perfect one is still on-going. I'm not sure if I'm suppose to post this online but I'm going to keep her name anonymous. Hope she don't mind. She's a nice girl to be with. She is so laid back and her goofy-ness makes her complete. So, why change right?

I've realized that I'm not that good looking (Just realized?!?!?! Hahaa). Girls will judge you on what you really look like. Even if you clean yourself, shave and such, if you're not good looking, fuck off. "The appearance doesn't matter." Yeah right~. The appearance always matter to you people. That cliché phrase which girls often use makes me kinda sick. Cheating yourself and what not. Giving unattractive guys a glimmer of hope that something might happen. I'm not saying that this applies to all girls but so far, the majority of the girls I've met are like that.

To end this on a sweeter note, I really hope you will open up to me real soon cause I'm really interested in what you are thinking. From what I've read, you might not be ready to move on with that phase of your life but I'm willing to wait 'til you are ready.

272

2009-02-08T20:11:00.006+08:00

2 nights of not sleeping. Tell me what's new.

I have a friend. He tends to look for me when he's facing a certain problem. He wants to get to know this one girl and the problem now is, that the girl that he wants to get to know, is almost never alone. It's hard to talk to her in person and stuff. He need to relax and just try to get to know her slowly. I know it awkward and stuff, talking to her in person with her friends breathing down your back. But from what I see, her friends are friendly. Very friendly indeed.

Okay, trying to feel the mood for this post. Not coming though.

Okay, summary of what happened.

Camp was great. True colours were seen. Realized that she's better than expected. If Junaidy and Hafizah were to hook-up, all they will do is argue about digging nose. Ayin snores VERY loudly. Fadzli will miss camping.

Fadzli will post up more on the next post. Too tired I guess.

271

2009-01-29T20:58:00.006+08:00

Lyrics:
Sometimes I feel like I don't belong anywhere
My days will go by and I'm all alone
It's over my head, I don't know what to do

You're fragile, in repair all of them say
But I don't know how to sew the wounds away
When will they fade?
It's out of my hands, can you hear me cry?

Don't you stare, I'm aware.
And you're not the one to say.
You're the same, built for shame
And I'm not that far away.

Far away...

Infinate, yet limited , you take my mind, so complex
I'll understand all in good time.
I'm poisoned again, it's like turpentine.

Don't you stare, I'm aware
And you're not the one to say
You're the same, built for shame
And I'm not that far away...
Away...

And I'm not that, and I'm not that, and I'm not that far away
No, I'm not that, and I'm not that, No, I'm not that far away...
Away...

Sometimes I feel like I don't belong anywhere...
And I'm not that far away.

Don't you stare, I'm aware... And you're not that far away...
Away...

270

2009-01-25T23:25:00.007+08:00

In desperation, the Fear of Love brew stronger.

I love Mars.

Effendi and Kamal, stop me.

269

2009-01-21T20:31:00.003+08:00

My accounting CA is tomorrow and all I can think about now is getting my new refurbished Xbox 360! I can finally resume playing Guitar Hero and Rockband!

Lately, things have been fine. Nothing more than the ordinary have happened. While my 360 was out, I have to rely on Rock Legends. It's a Facebook game. I was completely hooked at first and everyday I will surely log on and finish my energy bar. Tomorrow will be the day I will reduce my addictive-ness to Rock Legends.

I have to travel to Funan Digital Mall to get my new 360. I'm planning to bring my RROD'd 360 to school and immediately go there after school. I can't wait!!!

I'm also thinking of buying Nyko Intercooler TS for my new 360. But I have no idea how to get it. In other words, I need Effendi to call Funzcentre to see whether they have it. :D

This feeling is brewing inside of me. I'm still unsure if I should go on with it or not. Past experience have thought me that all it have resulted to is heartache. Writing this online is already a big "no-no". But I just can't help it you see. So confused.

268

2009-01-09T11:53:00.008+08:00

I've been shivering and having cold sweat since this morning. I don't actually know what is happening to me but I hope I'll be fine soon. I can't even get up to get my phone. Going to see the doctor? I don't think so. Think of it, you think I want to skip school? I knew that the files are in my locker. I just couldn't get up. I will like loose balance and topple over if I did. My mum asked me to just stay in bed. With a bottle of 1.5 litres, my laptop, a loaf of bread and a can of tuna beside me, I lay in bed. I really felt bad for not being in school. If I could come, I would.

Tomorrow, I will go back to school in the morning and get those files in my locker. I will finish all the work that is suppose to be done. Yes, I'm at fault. I accept it.

I have not been having sufficient sleep this week. Thanks to it, my mood have been completely down. So, I apologize if lately I've been rather quiet or dead.

Okay, as you should know me, in my every post, I will usually add some mushy stuffs. So, here you go. I'm trying to mend my way right now. I need to change things back to the way it should be. Last term, school have been a drag and coming to school to face her is really difficult. Now, it's a new term and I'm trying my best to live life to it's fullest.

At times, I tend to relive those times in the past. It hurts more now. Sometimes, I feel as though I'm not wanted around. And at times, I feel 'used'. Well these are just thoughts you see. I won't take it personally though and I hope you will not take it personally too. I just wants you to know what I'm feeling. That's all.

Note: [ * ] updated at 6.14 p.m.

267

2009-01-08T22:33:00.005+08:00

"Shiver" by Coldplay

Lyrics:

So I look in your direction
But you pay me no attention, do you?
I know you don't listen to me
'Cause you say you see straight through me, don't you?

But on and on
From the moment I wake, to the moment I sleep
I'll be there by your side; just you try and stop me
I'll be waitin' in line, just to see if you care

Oh…
Did she want me to change?
But I'd change for good
And I want you to know that you'll always get your way
I wanted to say…

Don't you shiver
Shiver
Sing it loud and clear
I'll always be waiting for you

So you know how much I need ya
But you never even see me, do you?
And is this my final chance of getting you?

And on and on
From the moment I wake, to the moment I sleep
I'll be there by your side; just you try and stop me
I'll be waiting in line, just to see if you care, if you care

Oh…
Did she want me to change?
Well I'd change for good
And I want you to know that you'll always get your way
I wanted to say…

Don't you shiver
Don't you shiver
Sing it loud and clear
I'll always be waitin' for you

Yeah I'll always be waiting for you
Yeah I'll always be waiting for you
Yeah I'll always be waiting for you, for you
I will always be waiting…

And it's you I see but you don't see me
And it's you I hear so loud and so clear
I sing it loud and clear
And I'll always be waiting for you

So I look in your direction
But you pay me no attention
And you know how much I need you
But you never even seen me

266

2009-01-08T02:58:00.009+08:00

The song speaks for itself.

Kamal's Dream Guitar...

2008-12-29T23:21:00.004+08:00

Kamal is a friend of mine who is now interested in biking. Previously, he is a guitar/pedals oriented guy. We tend to tease him about this obsession of his. I was googling around when I suddenly saw this, Kamal's dream guitar.

I'm just bored. Help?

G! G! G!

2008-12-29T02:59:00.006+08:00

It's now 3 am. I cant's sleep. So, I decided to fool around with Guitar Hero's Create-a-Rocker mode.

Pardon me for the picture quality. I will get a Digital camera soon. *smile*

Firstly, I would like to present, KamalamaK. He's a Kongster. All he thinks about is running and cycling. Soon, you will see him in the swimming pool. You just wait and see. The fitness junkie.

Secondly, I present to you, "Shaggy" Yoshi! Please notice his 'Stalight' shirt. He is now into producing mixes and such. He can put his legs behind his head. Beware!!!

Finally, I present to you, Balzagne! The anarcho guy. He's also a ladiez man among us. That is why I creates him as a clean cut young man. He is also known as "random".

I mean no harm and I hope you enjoy this post aight.

Peace.

Soft, Smooth & Silky...

2008-12-27T22:29:00.003+08:00

I just decided to blog today after seeing how short were my two previous posts.

Not much have happened in the past few weeks. I still can't stop thinking about her. After the two weeks of nothingness, still I can't forget about her. I am never this sure that she might be the one. Yeah, there were several "the one" in this blog. Hahaha. Well, I'll just leave it to fate then. I'm just going to sit still and wait.If it's meant to be,

our paths will cross.

Mushyness aside, I'm getting pissed about my GH Guitar. I just fucking hate the touchpad strips. Thanks to those fuckers, it keep on registering note even when I don't strum! This is how bad it is. Take a look at the picture below. 99% notes hits. Only 3 fucking stars?!

How I wish I have a GH3 Guitar. I'm thinking. Does Guitar Hero actually sell the guitar only? To escape from the guitar-related problems, I bought a Microphone for Guitar Hero: World Tour. Hahaha. Singing is so fun. Still suck at it though.

I think thats all for now. I will try to regularly update my blog.

Keep in touch aight. Thanks.

What Women Want: Assholes or Nice Guys?

2008-12-21T23:51:00.008+08:00

Baaah...

2008-12-18T16:39:00.003+08:00

Why do I even try? First look at me and then, *poof*.

sheesh...

Just Let It Go...

2008-12-16T15:37:00.011+08:00

Can things get any worse?

I'm unwell. I got a splitting headache. My nose is stuffed like a clogged drain pipe. I feel like crap. Deep down, I still know Asilah hates me. I can't sleep. I hate acting that everything is fine and dandy. I suck when it comes to girls. I hate when girls just won't give me a chance.

I'm unwell.

Why do most fairy-tales have a happy ending while life is bitter to the core?

Arghh... Pardon me, will you.

*sigh*

[***Update] I seriously think this song should be in Twilight. I could imagine the Trailers and stuff. Take a listen.

My First 100%...

2008-12-13T15:44:00.005+08:00

Yeah! My first 100%! And it's PARAMORE!!!!!!

Hahahaha!

I will start Hard difficulty soon.

Pet Society...

2008-12-12T00:39:00.001+08:00

How alpha can one be?

This is the limit. Pet Society Alpha!!!

A Jug Full of Feelings...

2008-12-09T08:22:00.011+08:00

I don't think that I'm suppose to be happy. Everytime I feel this tingly feeling inside, my conscience smacks me in the face and says it's wrong to feel that way.

I'm pretty much confuse with the whole situation right now. Which is right, which is wrong? I just can't move on until all the questions have been answered.

Okay, to the brighter side of life. I've made a new friend. I've abuse some of my power as the former president to get her e-mail address, but hell, it's worth it. I can't believe how laid back she is. Even with all the lame jokes she threw at me, I still giggled. Even after knowing that they are lame!!! Hahaha!!! We chatted for around 1-2 hours. I'm not sure though, could be shorter. But, heck, I had a lot of fun. Hope to see her online soon.

I'm learning to use iMovie. So, I've decided to make this video. Check it out. Kamalamak awesome playing. Now, he's just a fitness junkie.

There's lots of left over in the jug. Will finish it off soon.

Peace...

Metal Gear Solid...

2008-12-06T16:28:00.003+08:00

Is this really true? I really doubt so. Metal Gear Solid on the 360?

I never actually did like or even understand the game.

I hope a new storyline is in production if this news is true. Xbox 360 players don't actually know what the storyline is about. Like me.

That all for now I guess. Will pour out my feelings on the next post.

Keep in touch.

Peace...

The Final RIOT!

2008-11-29T19:32:00.011+08:00

I finally got the DVD. It took a while since I've lost my phone and need to purchase a new one. Therefore, I have no money to buy it on release. But, finally I got it.

I'm watching it now. It seems okay. Hayley is gorgeous as normal. Phenomenal voice as expected from her.

Currently, I have 6 concert DVDs.

"The Final RIOT!" by Paramore
"Völkerball" by Rammstein
"Please Experience Wolfmother Live" by Wolfmother
"Beside You in Time" by Nine Inch Nails
"Live in the LBC & Diamonds in the Rough" by Avenged Sevenfold
"Live in Texas" by Linkin Park

More to come though.

So Adorable!!!

2008-11-28T00:08:00.003+08:00

Girls... Always play with a guy's feelings.

Hahahaha.

Does it Matter???

2008-11-22T17:28:00.003+08:00

I don't what lately is happening to me. I'm starting to be so forgetful. I just recently lost my phone. Previously, I lost my Ez-link card too.

Is the sleepless nights finally affecting me? Or maybe I had my mind caught up on other things that until I became so forgetful?

My mobile phone number is currently offline for awhile.

But does it matter anymore to have a mobile phone?

Sigh...

I Bet You Girls Will Be Touching Yourselves After This Video...

2008-11-20T21:36:00.005+08:00

Girls will feel horny and start to touch themselves after watching this video.

Don't you "love his cock"?

He will "hunt you down"...

To cap things off. He have orgasmic moans at the end.

BEWARE...

It's Been Awhile...

2008-11-18T20:00:00.003+08:00

Hey there people. It's been a while since I've posted anything on this blog. Nothing about girls (Which I usually do). Nothing about nothing. I guess I as not in the mood to update any blogs of mine.

Well, life have been okay, I guess. This past few months was a roller-coaster ride of emotions for me. Sometime I feel fine. Sometimes I feel sad. All the time feeling crappy. Nothing is going my way I guess.

Here I go again. writing about my feelings and pouring everything out online again. Well, here it goes. Apparently, the girl that I'm head over heels for now have a new boyfriend. Which totally sucks for me. It might mean nothing to her now, but like have been hard. Problems arising without anyone to turn to. Usually, she was beside me. Listening to every crap that I'm blurting out of my mouth. I guess time have change and priorities have changed to.

My feelings for her is not going anywhere right now. I guess nothing can stop me from l**ing her. I'm trying my best to keep my mind occupied by playing games, studying etc.

It seems that care, loyalty and being a good guy doesn't work I guess. Yeah, maybe Taufik is right. Being a nice guy just brings you nowhere.

Before I cap this off. If you still know my private blog's URL. Do visit, aight. I know it means nothing to you. just a plain story about my life. My true life. But, just give it a shot, aight.

Thanks...

"Decode" by Paramore

2008-11-04T20:06:00.005+08:00

"Decode" by Paramore

Soundtrack from the movie Twilight.

They did make another song for the movie. It's called, "I Caught Myself".

I just love Hayley's voice.

Watch & Die...

2008-10-08T21:48:00.010+08:00

Drop dead...

NOW!

It's Not Necessary

2008-09-27T15:39:00.002+08:00

Gaming console battles are dumb to start with. For instance, Xbox 360 and the Playstation 3. Both are awesome consoles. Yeah, Xbox 360 had a rough start, with the RROD and shit. it did pissed me off cause i was hit by it. After the refurbished one came, no problem what so ever, so far.

Great titles are coming for both of them. Some are exclusive, some are not. I am looking at a few titles that I'm interested ton the Playstation 3. Jealous or upset? Nope. No worries. I 'm looking forward to a few Xbox 360 titles too. I might miss a lot on the Playstation 3 but I'm gonna invest most of my money on what I have, which is a Xbox 360.

Fanboys of the Xbox 360 and Playstation 3 disgust me. Why all the hate and criticize each other's console. Is it necessary? We are all gamers in the end.

I'm so sick of seeing hate post on youtube.

P.S.

If you own a Playstation 3, have wireless internet.

Not playing online = Asshole/Idiot/Retard.

Or just throw it away already.

"Death Magnetic" by Metallica

2008-09-27T01:40:00.009+08:00

What more can I say about this album. It's waaaaayyy better than St. Anger. They are finally back to what they are famous for, making melodic and crunchy music. In my opinion, it's on the same level as The Black Album.

One song that stands out from the rest is the instrumental called, "Suicide & Redemption". I'm telling you, it will make you piss you pants and alert all the babies to come to point and laugh at you.

Rating: 4.6 / 5

Gaming & Cookies

2008-09-24T20:24:00.001+08:00

I don't settle for "Greatness".

Perfection is what I aim for.

It's Coming...

2008-09-16T01:49:00.000+08:00

Why Can't I Forget About You?!?!?!

2008-09-05T22:17:00.002+08:00

"Indestructible" by Disturbed

Yeah!!! One of my all time favourite bands!!!

Wait, soon I'll update.

It's coming....

Puasa...

2008-09-02T10:29:00.002+08:00

Yesterday was the first day of Ramadhan. Let the fun begin.

But I'm Having a slight flu though.

Will post a meaningful post soon.

Peace...

Music Is Awesome...

2008-08-28T00:02:00.007+08:00

There are a few songs that I'm currently listening to this past few days.

Here's the list.

1. "Hot n Cold" by Katy Perry
For those who are into catchy stuff, you have to listen to this song. I got hooked to it almost instantly.

2. "Decoy" by Paramore
What more can I say about this song. Just an awesome song to listen to. One of my favourites by Paramore.

3. "Requiem for a Dream" by Clint Mansell
A great instrumental. I love it when it breaks down at the end.

4. "Before I Forget" by SlipKnot
Among the soft songs, I still need some pure ear banging action. So, this is one of the songs.

5. "Avalancha" by Heroes Del Silencio
Even if I don't understand the lyrics, the colossal sound just attracts me.

6. "Second Chance" by Shinedown
Just trying the band out. I've listened to a few of the songs. This attracts me the most among their songs.

I'm addicted to this song most though.

"Hot n Cold" by Katy Perry

Peace...

Unexpected...

2008-08-26T09:05:00.006+08:00

"Avalancha" by Héroes del Silencio

Unexpected things are happening. Sacrifices will be made. I will get through this.

I just need everyone to trust me in this.

Peace...

I'll Try To Stay Blind...

2008-08-24T14:15:00.005+08:00

"Come Undone" by Duran Duran
I will not let it happen again.

Never.

Peace...

Who?

2008-08-20T23:31:00.002+08:00

It's all in your hands.

I don't want you. I need you.

I'm bound to hurt myself. Sooner or later.

Peace...

Get Off!!!

2008-08-19T17:26:00.004+08:00

I just can't stand when teachers just talk about you with the other teachers. I just can't fucking stand it! Ever since I am the president of the club. Teachers have been giving me a hard time. I have NEVER done my homework before! NEVER! Thanks to the presidency I have to start?! Hell fucking no!

I won't change anything. It's the way I am. Can you teachers stop aiming my Teacher-in-Charge of the club regarding my studies?! It got fucking nothing to do with anything! Why are you informing her anyway? Are you teachers going to band up together to make a groups of justice avengers crap to make my life a living hell? I am seriously so fucking pissed regarding this. "Fadzli, this.... Fadzli, that..." FUCK YOU!!!

I was blessed with this CCA and I am happy to have this CCA. And YOU teachers have to make this experience hard for me. I just don't get you teachers.

There is this tiny long lost article in the newspaper regarding a teacher is reading a student's blog in order to understand more about the student.

And yes, this is an attack to all you teachers our there who have made my life in SBSC a living hell.

For all that I know, my language here might be out of hand. But what the hell, I'm just plain old mad.

Try counselling me now SCs... Oopps! It's not your job to do so.

I'm really upset regarding this.

Chaotic Poetic...

2008-08-08T21:04:00.005+08:00

It's finally here!!! Next, The Fragile...

Just now was the National Day celebration for ITE Bishan. Everything was so last minute. We had to rush and some even have to miss the oh-so-wonderful concert.

The prizes for our booths came very late and we can't do anything without the prizes. We had to wait for a little while for it to come. Hafisa looked very tired. She did all the banners and stuff. I did nothing much. I feel so pathetic. Once again, I'll emphasize. Everything was so last minute.

I hate doing last minute work.

Everything was alright in the end.

I thank all the people who are involved in today's event. You guys did great eventhough it was a late notice. I can see the effort and I hope you guys can forgive me for the chaos.

Peace...

Out of Anger...

2008-08-06T21:55:00.002+08:00

I feel so bad after reading my post again. I apologize for the previous post. I really should not have said those things. It was purely out of anger and frustration. I am really sorry.

I was just trying to be as frank as possible on this blog. Maybe I was too cruel and instead of using nicer words, I used disgusting and offensive words.

I was truly pissed that morning. I didn't know what have gotten onto me.

I hope you people would forgive me.

Peace...

Damn, Not Again...

2008-08-05T09:29:00.002+08:00

I need rest. So, I skipped school today. I know it's not a great idea to do so but I have no other choice. This will be the last day. I have to and will set my priorities straight.

It's just that if no one does it, who will?! I mean, I must take charge and do it. If I just follow like the rest and remain idle, I will still get the blame. So, might as well, I try my best to avoid the blame and do something. But help is rather hard to help. I don't blame them for not helping. Yeah, I know, they are busy and stuff. Hell, I am too. You just don't disappear and never cme back. You guys know that there is the camp coming. Yeah, that I can handle slowly. Did you guys know that last minute, our club is involved with the National Day Celebration in school too? Do I need to look for you guys and ask for help in order to get help? Yeah, call this bitching and whining. I don't care.

My accounts is dropping(never good at it anyway...). The rest are improving. But the teachers are busting my ass on my accounts. WTF!? I did improve on two subjects. I just suck at one. They are like blaming the presidency thingy. Not only them, even some of my close friends said it too. That made me fucking pissed. I know that they meant well. I tried my best to balance both. Come o think of it, If I don't have this President shit, I would be rotting at home. Doing absolutely (vodka) nothing. Thanks to this shit, I spend my idle time doing something productive.

Since some people are already hating me due to the above content, might as well I continue and make more people hate me. So, basically, I hate how Asilah treat me. What did I fucking do? She just look at me in a certian manner that is hurtful. I don't actually know is it intentional or not but what the heck. I know, we have a so-called "history" together. Yeah, I did persuaded you to leave him. My decision is still the same. He don't deserve your love. I still believe that what he said is unforgivable. That's it.

I still feel awkward around Nazirah. Everything is not all fine and dandy just yet.

Hmm, where do I start about Ayin? So far, Nothing is wrong just yet. But I can feel the displeasurement.Left, right, center. Gorgeous looking, well-off mens are going for you. But is that all what you want? Or do you want closure? You can avoid this topic by stating that you don't need all this right now. The the topic will remain and linger around here. I don't have the looks. The money. All I can do is to show you. To be there whenever you need me. Yeah, I know. "but we've just met and we barely know each other". Yeah, true enough. I tried almost everything to get to know you more but all you gave me was a cold shoulder and continue talking about SBSC. I know it is a hint for me to back off. Seriously, It's sad to see this happen without even seeing you giving me a chance to prove myself. It's okay then. Life still goes on.

I think everything is out of my chest.

Once again, this post is not a personal attack on any names or situations mentioned above.

Peace...

New Stuff...

2008-08-03T10:12:00.003+08:00

Yeah! New stuff.

I'm still waiting for The Slip though.

Vanishing From Existance?

2008-07-30T13:48:00.004+08:00

When it comes to relationship, I just can't stop talking and discussing about it. Everything I did was correct in my opinion. But I still fail. Can someone enlighten me?

I tried to be the nice guy. It seems that nice guys are just taken advantaged off. Get fucked in the ass and left to suffer. Taufik did mention about "Nice guys finished last". Yeah, I agree. I won't change myself into a retard who treat girls like crap and stuff. I won't be ruthless and go for a girl by using dirty tactics. That's just not my style.

You know what I can't stand the most? Guys disrespecting girls. Some shout at their girlfriends for no apparent reason. Some just tortures their girlfriends by ignoring them. I just don't fucking get it. You got someone wonderful beside you. Will do whatever for you. Why the fuck are you treating her that way?! She fucking deserves more.

When us, the normal looking single guys, advise them. Leave them. The girls will always say, "It's hard to explain... It's hard to leave him...". Argh!!! Fuck all this. You cry for him everynight. And for what? He is out there bitching about you and how you make his life so consticted with his group of assholes friends who give pethetic advise like, "Kalau susah sgt, break sua... Perempuan ader kat geylang byk..." Bunch of assholes.

So, yeah Taufik. I will finish the race. It don't matter what position I finish. As long as I have integrity and happy of what I've done. No regrets.

Peace...

What Could He Be Saying?

2008-07-27T11:54:00.010+08:00

I bet it's "FIST FUCK!!!"

An update will be coming soon.

[***Update | 1724hr]
Jacky passed me this wonderful forum page. The pain he felt might be extremely similar to mine. Therefore, Enjoy.

"What Happened to All the Nice Guys?"

More is still to come. Keep in touch.

I'll Light Up Your Life...

2008-07-24T22:16:00.003+08:00

Still in search of The Slip & The Fragile.

It's been awhile since I talked to Nazirah. I don't know why. I'm damn sure that it's not her. It's me and I know it. It's not that I'm trying to avoid her. I just feel damn hurtful whenever I see her face. All the great times we had. All the sorrows we went through together.

I think people are sick and tired of me saying this but what the heck. I've never regretted meeting her. I thank God that our life crossed and it's time for me to move on. It will be hard, but I'm trying my best to move on.

I just hope that God will send me my angel soon. And I hope that it's Her.

Peace...

***I know too much as the President.
Sheesh~... -_-"

I Will Take You There...

2008-07-23T21:50:00.007+08:00

The Racial Harmony Day Celebration to me was a success. I'm very proud of Airah and Taufik. They did well and I think they are awesome. Especially Airah (Haha!).

Airah look gorgeous today. Shaizah?! My god. Speechless. (Sorry Taufik, Haha!)

Everything went better than I've expected. Hafisa was late this morning. So, I have to handle a few stuff on my own with the help of Shikin and Liyana. Thank god that they were there.

It could be better but I feel that it's good enough. In my opinion, it's all about having fun. Sometimes, being too serious sucks. Actually, I don't know what else to write. Bla bla bla...

Next thing on the list is the upcoming Camp. 3 weeks left to prepare. First thing I will have to do is settle the club T-shirt. So, I have to meet up with Ayin sooner or later.

That's all for now.

Peace...

**Fuck Trent! Did you ship The Slip to Singapore?!

OH!!! NOW I KNOW WHAT IS HAPPENING!!!

2008-07-22T22:02:00.003+08:00

Tomorrow, my school will be celebrating Racial Harmony Day. I know, It's already 2 days passed but what the heck. Everything is so last minute but I am confident that it will go smoothly. Taufik and Airah will be the MCs for tomorrow. I have confidence in them. I know Airah will do well. Taufik, he have proven himself worthy after being the Bridge Leader's Vice President. Have faith guys.

Speaking of Airah, I heard from Jacky that she is finally attached. That's good for her. I got nothing more to say about that.

This past few days, Ayin look soooooo pale. I don't know what's happening, but I hope that everything is okay and alright. I know that she is busy with her NDP thingy and all. All I can do to lighten her load is not to call her to come for meetings too much. I just wish her all the best for the NDP thingy at Sengkang.

That's all for now.

Peace...

Do You Know How Far This Has Gone?

2008-07-20T13:28:00.006+08:00

Yesterday was a super tiring day. A whole bunch of us joined this Heritage Marathon called "Fun on Foot". But in fact they should just call it "Fun, MY FOOT!". This thing is suppose to be like the amazing race around Singapore kinda thing. I have to say, the booths are located too deep and there is no indication outside. The least they could do is at least put an indication outside. You know, like the actual Amazing Race itself. But I have to admit though, It was fun.

Okay. A touchy subject is to be presented here. Those who are sissy ass moron, don't read. I really hate when we are going out in a group, we split up because not all could afford a certain activity. Especially, when you busted a male fried for a female friend. I admit, I did do this last time and I've paid for it. But feeling it first hand, It's like a tight slap in my face. Who am I talking about? I just knew this guy a few months in. Jacky is his name.

Not saying that he is a useless friend. He is kinda useful. Just that, I fucking hate when he know that I can't afford to go for it and he fucking insisted to go for it. Half-way, Fucking Pang Seh me for a girl!!! Yes, I am fucking mad right now.

Once was enough man. You kicked me out of your team and replace me with Raudah. What the fuck was that all about?! It's not like as though Raudah can't ask Hafisa to join her group?! Hell, if I can, why can't her?! When it comes to this, there is only 2 strikes. Enough is enough Jack.

I was like Jacky last time, thinking that with a girl, who needs friends. I lost lots of my friends trust last time due to this. I've learnt my lesson.

[***Update | 2208hr | July 20]
I'm jealous of Jacky I guess. Not that I'm interested in Raudah. Just jealous that he got to go out with a girl. Haha. Wheeeeeee.

Peace...

You're a tool...

2008-07-12T12:50:00.005+08:00

I've been very busy lately. With the CAs coming, SBSC stuff to do. I barely have time to stop and think.

I have to admit, I am kinda scared of the upcoming CA. Am I prepared to face it now? I have to say not yet. What will my results be? I hope good enough.

First week of school was hell for me. My body is still kinda lazy to drag itself to school in the morning. Meeting back with schoolmates was cool and saddening at the same time. "Frustrated" ans "pissed off" are some of the emotions that I gone through too.

Problems appear from left and right. I was expecting them to appear sooner or later though. The "Help" are not doing what they're suppose to do.

This post is kinda messy. Do come back and see the amendments. I'm not in the mood to blog now.

[***Update | July 15 | 4.17]
Yeah, I said that I'll come back here and rant like crazy. From now on, this blog will be a no-holds-barred blog. I will use names instead of using "she", "he" and "they". It could make people hate me. It could make people like me. I don't care that much already. Finally, there is nothing that I have never felt before. Except for one thing though. Having my dick sucked. Hmm...

Okay, onto serious stuff. I'm not feeling that well this past few days. Having a severe flu. I just came back from the doctor. The most nicest doctor that I have ever met.

Tomorrow, there will be a meeting with a few members regarding the camp. What's the progress on the camp you may ask. It's been going kinda slow. I hope that tomorrow's meeting will get me to the point of satisfaction. Currently, I am not satisfied that much on the recent progress. Yeah, I do appreciate Andrew's, Wan Ni's and Eileen's help on the discussion. But I am still not satisfied though.

I'm trying my best to not disturb Ayin, Hafisa, Shikin, Huda and Wan Ni cause I know that they are currently very very darn busy with the NDP thingy. For Liyana, she is constantly busy with work. I think.

Relationship, relationship & relationship. Frankly speaking, I am interested in Ayin and I think most of you already know already. Yeah, I agree. My actions are kinda obvious. But I realise that she is not abit interested at all. Haha! Girls could be so darn cold at times. Haha!

Still in the topic about girls, I just recently met this cute and adorable girl. She is in the same class as Jacky. She is just so adorable. I can't believe that she is single and I bet that there are lots of guys chasing her already. What are my chances? I don't know actually. I'm just glad that I've met her.

Oh yah, before I forget. Nazirah is happy now. That is good to see. I hope you guys stay happy always. Frankly speaking, I still hate him though. It's your life, Irah. It don't matter what I feel. As long as you're happy, it's good enough. I always hope for the best for you.

[This post is not a personal assault on any names that are mentioned. I just feel that from now on, I have to be frank to all. Cause being "nice" is just not working for me now. This is also not a way to vent my anger. I just want to be frank.

I apologise for any misunderstandings that are about to come my way soon.]

Peace...

We Want the Airwaves Back...

2008-06-30T23:33:00.004+08:00

I big challenge is ahead. Am I prepared to face it? Will people who suppose to help me, help? I'm doing this without any supervision of any teachers. Some wonder, what the hell am I babbling about.

I have to organize a bonding camp for the members of the School of Business and Services Club. Mrs Lee(Overall teacher-in-charge) called me this morning just to inform me that Mr Erick Chua(Teacher-in-charge of the camp) could not help due to his major involvement in the NDP.

This will be something new for me. I've never organize something this big before. Maybe for some Event Management students, this may be nothing to them. I'm in Accounting!!! hahaha. Yeah, feeling scared and out of place right now. Pressure!!!

I just hope that the Executive Committee will co-operate with me and give the fullest. But it seems that they are busy as hell.

Shit!

*Fingers crossed*

[***Update | 3rd July | 2.11 pm]
The Four of Us are Dying...
(Yes, we are still in the same topic as the above)

Amazing...

2008-06-26T23:56:00.005+08:00

"Echoplex" by Nine Inch Nails

Such an amazing day today. I had lots of fun.

So near, but yet, so far...

Argh! That smile.

Something That I Can Never Have... If I do nothing...

Nine Inch Nails: Live From Rehearsals: 1,000,000

2008-06-25T10:30:00.008+08:00

This song is one of my favourites from Nine Inch Nails latest album, The Slip. By the way, the album is free to download. Just click the image above my tagbox. Singaporeans........ It's freeeeeeeeeee.

Bla bla bla... CRASH!

2008-06-17T05:52:00.011+08:00

Catch this movie with me someone?

I went out to watch soccer with Jim and friends. Jim picked me up at my place. After that, we headed to some "ulu" place to meet up with Ser Yuan and his car buddies. After meeting them, We headed to Kallang to have dinner cause Jim have not eaten yet.

After dinner, we waited for Junlong to arrive. It took decades for that bugger to arrive. He arrive with this awesome sounding car. Some of the drivers there took a test drive on his car. Wei Kiat was super excited. But sadly, his parking skills suck!!! Haha.

We headed to the "Break-up" bridge. I don't know, but I think it's behind the Singapore Indoor Stadium. Ser Yuan friends want to take a picture of the cars available there. Yeah, everyone was like, "Okay...". Jim, does not seem to have a strong bladder. Junlong, his friend and I accompanied Jim to the nearest petrol station. Jim was driving and I was sitting next to him. While, Junlong and his buddy was sitting at the back. The journey to the petrol station was fast. The journey back was so-called hell. The roads there are so narrow.

Jim was driving very cautiously when suddenly, we approach this cross-junction. Out of the blue, there is this one taxi appeared out of nowhere. CRASH!!! The taxi hit the front-left side of Jim's car. Everything was shaking like crazy. I injured my knee a little bit but I'm glad that no one got hurt badly. Junlong bumped his head and shoulder. Amazingly, Junlong's friend saw it coming. The pain in my knee is growing though. Hope that it will be okay soon.

I really pity Jim for what have happened. Jim is the most cautious driver among the rest. It's just so unfortunate for it to happen today. I still trust him when he is driving.

P.S.
Siu Jin still freaks me out.

[**Update 17/6/08 2340hr]

You know what sucks? Falling for the wrong girl. Again. Yeah, girls are just not giving me a chance to prove myself. Bla bla bla. Yadedadida. Different situation, same conclusion. FUCK! hahaha. I think you know who I'm talking about.

Wheeeeeee~~~?

2008-06-15T10:49:00.003+08:00

Another failure bound to happen? Haha. Kinda expecting it to happen actually. Should have given up on it years ago.

Being the President is hard. Some may see my non-stop communication as very annoying and irritating. If I appear to be that way, I apologise. It's just that I don't want to fail you see. I need to know every single thing that is happening or else I will feel uneasy. If I don't contact them regularly, they might say that I'm not doing what I'm suppose to do as President. I will constantly try my best as the President. A new club, A new beginning. A new pain, A new suffering.

Stop Loving... The only way for happiness.

Movie Time...

2008-06-14T14:55:00.005+08:00

Yesterday, I watch this awesome movie. The build up was great. They made the process of how Bruce Banner becomes the hulk a short one. They concentrate more on how Bruce Banner runs around the world in search for the cure for his "disease". It's awesome how Elizabeth Ross is the only one who could calm The Hulk down. Talking about a women's touch. Haha.

Overall, the movie was awesome. I'll give it 4.5/5.

The ending was sweet though. Tony Stark pops in and talked to a broken-down General "Thunderbolt" Ross in a bar. He mentioned about forming a team.

Can' wait!!!

THE AVENGERS!!!

Amazing Feeling

2008-06-11T20:27:00.003+08:00

Today was amazing. The School of Business and Services Club had a meeting with most of the newly recruited members. Firstly, Hafisa introduce the Executive Committee to them. Ayin took over after that. She talked about the Term of Reference. For a boring topic, I feel that she did a great job. After that, Andrew took over and talk mostly about his department, which is Promotion. Hafisa took over again to talk about the Racial Harmony Event. Later, I took over to talk about the camp. Everyone was restless by then. Amazingly, I made them laugh mostly because of my stuttering.

It felt amazing to be up there. Every eyes are on you. Yeah, I might not speak like a President. But I feel that gaining people attention and sharing the limelight with the rest of the Executive Committee is much more important. I'm really happy with the Executive Committee right now. Such a wonderful batch.

At least there is something to think about after all that is happening now.

Phew~...

So, Yeah...

2008-06-06T00:07:00.002+08:00

Thanks for congratulating me guys. It really meant alot. I actually got nothing much to say. Wanted to write something. But I guess some people may have a problem with it. So, I decided not to write about it.

There is No Love Here and There is No Pain...

A curse in disguise?

2008-06-04T23:25:00.007+08:00

Apparently, I am the new "President" of the School of Business & Services Club. I wonder why did the executive committee voted for me though. Well, I will try my best and I hope that I won't let you guys down. Never in my life have I become someone important. So, cut me some slack aight if anything goes wrong.

Fadzli is thinking of giving up in this thing called "Love".

Right now, I don't know what to do. It's just so painful everyday. So near, but yet so far.

Deep down, I still care for her. Alot. I'll always be here if you need me. As a friend, I really need to talk to you in person. But lately, its hard. Immediately after school, you scurry off. I really hope that you are okay. Take care of yourself.

Aim High, Fall & Cry...

2008-06-01T17:41:00.007+08:00

I can't wait for this album to be released. 3rd June people.

Coping very badly with the changes around me. Never have I cried so much in my life before. When ever I am down, I will consult this certain person. Now, she is causing me to feel all this. I just can't help it you see. If I could avoid all this, I want to. Another year wasted I guess. Being a good guy gets you nowhere.

What more can I say, It's all over I guess. Time to move on Fadzli.

It's time to fuck the world.

Move on...

2008-05-30T14:14:00.006+08:00

It's very hard to let go of something you cherish for like one year plus already. Even though it's not your's in the first place.

I did not go to school today cause I wasn't feeling that well. I tried to go, but my body just says no. I did a few script writing for the Business Law project while I was at home. Hopefully when we meet, it will all be ready and all we have to do is act the scenes out.

A smile is as powerful as any WMD. It can either obliterate you or make you feel reborn. I don't know what I'm going to do after this. I guess I'm just going to just let is be. What more can I do? One sided love will get you nowhere. Therefore, moving on is the best option. This blog have been the story of my life. My rise and mostly my falls are all in here. What will be the next one? Will it be a rise? Or will it be a fall? Only time will tell people.

[**Update: Saturday | 5.31 pm]
Whining just won't help now. I've tried to communicate. I can't pester her no more cause it well be pressuring her. If I just keep quiet, I might as well be dead. I just don't know what to do. If I kept quiet and listen to her, not to pressure her, how sure am I that others will do the same? There is no telling

Oh God please. Give me a chance for Love.

All I can do is hope that she sees that I really do care for her. More than just a friend.

If it's not meant to be, I will try my best to forget her. But God, please make her life a happy one. She deserves it. That is all I ask from you.

Trust...

2008-05-29T19:41:00.003+08:00

Kinda busy lately. I've been neglecting my friends and I feel like an ass right now. Sorry Suzanna. Sorry Kina. Met with them today. Had a long walk around Junction 8 and went to Popular. Came back to KFC and put a happy smile on. Deep down inside was hurting like hell.

Ayin made me smile today after all the drama. Did a little something on the Notice board. Reach home emotionally and mentally tired. Now, here, updating my blog.

Losing Ground...

2008-05-23T18:28:00.002+08:00

I'm just sick of talking about "Love". Come to think of it, can we get away from that topic? Yeah, "Love" is everywhere. Does anyone really know the true meaning of love? Some may just see as a physical act. Some just wants to be there for each other when times are crappy. Everyone may have a different definition for "Love".

There are like 21 definitions of "Love" in Dictionary.com.

My definition of true "Love" is, to be there for your partner when he/she needs you the most. Sometimes you can't have everything you want to do or have. Therefore, I think Sacrifice is one of the important key in a relationship that consist "Love". Must I even mention Trust? Yeah, it's a must have for any relationship to grow. When there's Trust, I doubt there will be any Jealousy.

"Love" is not simple. It's complex.

So yeah. I do love her.

What's The Reason?

2008-05-12T22:10:00.002+08:00

"Everything Happens for a Reason." A common phrase I tend to hear when bad things happens to anyone. Does things really happen for a reason? What if it happens just for the sake of happening?

We can avoid bad things happening to us. I thought alot about this on the way home just now. With Shaik beside me and while listening Nine Inch Nails, I wonder, are most of the things we go through inevitable?

Are things suppose to be this way? Can I do anything to change it? Accepting life as it is will never be an option for any person. People just want more in life. As in having someone who he/she love the most, Money and many other more. It's what you do to get it makes everyone different. Some may resort to cruel and mischievous actions, some just try their best to get it the right way and fail terribly.

Seeing what you can never own or get is hurtful. For instance, a CD that you want badly. You know that you can't have it cause it's not being produce anymore. Apparently, you have to resort to something else. Like illegally download songs. It's like the closest thing to owning or having it. Then, so be it.

Finally, A Post!

2008-05-09T16:57:00.002+08:00

It's been a long time since I've update my blog. I'm kinda lazy to update my blog to be honest. Life have been okay. Nothing special happened to far. What can I say, Life is boring when you're alone. Haha.

School is okay. Not too bad. Nothing much to say about that.

Yeah, I bought GTA IV. Amazing game. A must buy for any gamer out there.

Life have been very challenging. Everyone is going through problems here and there. Some problems, there are solution to them. Some don't. All you can do is run. That's the only solution. At this time, Some smart ass would say, "You just have not find the solution to it yet." Fuck you. I know what I'm going through and life ain't so fine and dandy.

Sucking it up will be most probably my next option. It's the only way. Taking every blow, while standing strong. Yeah, most probably the problem that I'm going through is not that big. But to me, it is.

Some babies learn to walk faster than others. Not everyone is the same as you.

Juicy Topics

2008-04-17T18:09:00.002+08:00

Why do girls like to act 'shallow'?

You know what I mean?

Haha, I will elaborate more on this soon.

"Give Me A Chance" by Black Tide

2008-04-13T01:08:00.005+08:00

"Give Me A Chance" by Black Tide

Lyrics:

Have you ever felt this way before

Felt this way

Pushed to be someone you don't know

I don't know!

I've never felt this way before

Felt this way

Pushed to be someone

I don't know!

People telling lies all the time

Another part of this pointless game

I don't want to be part of your lie

[Chorus]

Give me a chance and you'll know

What I want to be

Give me a chance to figure it out

Who I am

I've told you

You never listened

And you pushed me away

People telling lies all the time

Another part of this pointless game

I don't want to be part of your lie

[Chorus]

Give me a chance and you'll know

What I want to be

Give me a chance to figure it out

Who I am

Now! Just give me my life back

So! I'm taking it back now

No! You never will take me in vain!

I've told you what I have to say

I've told you

You never listened

And you pushed me away

Number 200

2008-04-13T00:06:00.002+08:00

Whoa, this is my 200th post for this blog. Apparently, I have nothing better to do right now. Haha. My swollen lips is as big as this morning. Putting ice to it doesn't even work. I hope that it will be much more better before school reopens.

ITE Bishan will be reopening it's doors this coming monday. FINALLY!!! I was completely waiting for school to open. Call me crazy but I feel that going to school is better then rotting at home. Don't surface the issue on getting a job. I don't need the money right now. I have enough money to make myself happy. That's enough to me.

I will be in the class IQT. Uber weird cause the class consist of Sing Leng, Nazirah, Arif, Thomas, Asrinah & Kah Kuen. What happened to Asilah & Shaik? Didn't they take Business Law as their elective? Apparently, they end up inside a Taxation class. There must have been a mix up somewhere. I feel completely bad for Shaik. I really hope that there is a mix up.

Swollen...

2008-04-12T14:47:00.002+08:00

This morning when I woke up, I found my upper lips completely swollen. What the hell is happening?! Haha.

Will update more at night.

Isn't This Super Gay?

2008-04-10T14:28:00.007+08:00

OMFG! Look at this supergay playlist. Haha. At least it shows my range in music, regardless of it's genre. Gotta admit that those songs are awesome though.

I've been having diarrhea this past 2 days. Maybe it's due to my drastic change in my diet. What the hell, everything will be okay soon I guess.

After serious thoughts at Heeran's HMV, I finally decided to grab a copy of With Teeth by Nine Inch Nails. Before that, I thought of keeping my money and buying something else for a certian special moment. I guess, I decided to just but the CD when a flying ostrich decided to poop on my head. It's like a super awesome way to start my school experience once again(Being sarcastic here).

Whatever it is, life still goes on without waiting for whiny bitches. Therefore, I am not going to be whiny. It's going to be hard, going through it once more, with the same girl. Damn, I said too much.

Got Speed?

Haha.

Hey Jude

2008-04-07T14:16:00.004+08:00

I totally can't decide whether I should buy With_Teeth by Nine Inch Nails or The Sickness by Disturbed. Hmm.

Drums! I want to learn how to play drums!!! Why are drums sooooooo fucking expensive?! Hahaha.

Imagine this:
Chris Daughtry, joining Velvet Revolver.
Rock will become Immortal. It will never die.
Rock TETAP Rock.

Photobucket

2008-04-06T01:04:00.007+08:00

I was so bored. So, I decided to browse through my photobucket album. I found a number of funny and interesting stuff. Haha.

I was dumb back then. I apologise. Hahaha.

Have been My motto for like a few years. "Smile & Walk Away..."

This is like the greatest GIF ever made.

Yeah... This was The G-Outing...

I want to look like this again. Damn I'm fat. Haha.

I'M SOOOO FAT NOW!!!

HAHA! So over her. But she suddenly disappear. No chance to be friends. Oh Well. Haha.

Super Sweet

2008-04-02T04:46:00.002+08:00

So, they are really serious about gathering the Secondary School folks for outings. It's kinda a cool idea to have a blog and post upcoming events on it. I will try my best to attend a few of those outings.

Money come and goes just like that. I've spent alot of money today. I need to keep some money for other important stuff in the future. Yeah.

My love life is truly fucked up. Karma will chase you like a crazy old uncle whom you stole a pair of teeth from. Maybe I am paying for my past wrong doings. When is it going to end? When is karma going to say, "Okay, you've paid all your wrong doings." Maybe true love have not find me yet. Haha. That is what I want to think but i know it's not true. Haha. Sick of failing though. :D

My sleeping time is totally fucked up. I'm sleeping like an owl right now. Sleep in the afternoon. Awake in the night.

So, yeah. That is what I've been thinking about. That is what I've been doing.

I think I'm allergic to the Impact Sweets. I'm like itching all over.

P.S.
I would really like to go out with you.

"Superpower" by KMFDM

2008-03-30T18:46:00.003+08:00

"Superpower" by KMFDM

Whoa. I'm so addicted to this song. I especially like the part, "Extra! Extraordinaire!" So cool. Haha.

What Have I been up to lately? I been blowing off my money of albums and CDs. Don't worry, Fadzli knows how to manage his own money. I bought Black Tide: Light From Above & Nine Inch Nails: Pretty Hate Machine. I also bought a second-hand computer monitor worth $25 and two posters. Amazingly, I still have abit of money left.

It's been awhile since I met up with those Secondary School folks. All of a sudden Fatin, Fadhil and some other guys started to have this reunion thingy. To tell you the truth,I hate my Secondary School experience. It's just something that I want to forget about. It just sucks.

So, there you go. Haha. :D

"Give Me A Chance" by Black Tide

2008-03-25T20:09:00.004+08:00

"Give Me A Chance" by Black Tide

I can't believe that these guys are all between 15-18 years old. Buying their album was not a mistake. Awesome songs throughout the album. All I can say is that if you like Metal, you got to get the album. If not, go play with your little winky.

I will update all of you what have I been up to during this holidays soon. Maybe tonight.

So, keep in touch.

Celebrate Today

2008-03-24T15:05:00.003+08:00

Today is "Ignore-the-shit-out-of-Fadzli-and-if-he-asks-or-tries-to-engage-in-a-conversation-just give-him-a-cheap-ass-answer" Day.

Celebrating this day is fun.

Yes?

Light From Above

2008-03-21T21:28:00.004+08:00

Today, I just grab the Black Tide's album without even thinking. So far, it's not a disappointment yet. It's so fast paced and crunchy. If this band is truly the future of Metal, then be rest assured that the future of Metal is bright.

So far, I am enjoying the album. The real test will come soon. Can it have a lasting effect like Nine Inch Nails? Thats the real test.

Let Us Pray

2008-03-20T20:15:00.004+08:00

Jason just recently told me that Siu Jin have go undergo an operation. The chances for the operation to be successful is only 50%. If the operation is unsuccessful, he could lose the usage of his right leg. I really feel bad for him.

All we can do now is pray for him.I hope that everything will be fine. The 50% could still happen. Eventhough the chances are slim, there is still a chance.

The operation will take place on Sunday. That is what Jason told me.

Have faith.

God speed.

Let Me Try This Out

2008-03-19T22:03:00.005+08:00

Sometimes I wonder why the hell do I have a handphone with so many free text messages. One question always come to mind, Can I survive without a handphone? It seems possible now.

My laziness, it's taking over me. I tried my best. Everytime I tried, I seem to always fail. I know that none of you know what or who I am referring to but that is how it goes.

I've said it once, and I'm going to say it again. Sometimes, Enough is enough. I will never be numb to this feeling. Never. You have just said something that I don't ever want to hear from you.

Day by day, I wonder why the hell people dislike you so much. It's getting clearer right now. I've always protected you all this while. Defended your actions all this while. I took all your crap. I swallowed lots of 'hard pills'. Everytime you throw your tantrums at me, I just took it. I always understand your actions and just took everything. Was it worth it? Yeah, it was worth it. But sometimes, enough is enough. Yeah, true, you did not ask me to do everything that I mentioned above for you. I did it willingly. I was hoping that you noticed it. I guessed that everything that I've done was common to you.

I'm unwell, and I know it.

And now, I know what to do next.