Today I felt as though an anchor fell and hit my head in Jupiter. There is not even a slim chance for it. Right now I feel like that day. I have promised myself that this will never happen again, look now... Its freaking happening.
I hate using this blog and writing stupid nonsensical posts but I have to do it. This is my only voice. Hell, I am still a coward. I feel that showing too much feelings on the real life is like showing all my weaknessess to whoever it may be useful to. I am glad that I have a blog where I can write what I feel.
I'm getting sick and tired of sitting in the sidelines. Seeing other guys making her happy, making her sad. For once, I want to be that guy who makes her smile, laugh and make her feel special. Surely I would try my best to avoid making her sad. I surely can't blame fate. It's all my fault.
There are a few special ones in my life. Can I really trust my feelings? Is it moving on or is it just me being like those people, who change their girlfriend as though they are changing their clothes. And yet guys like that gets the girl. Am I just being selfish? Blaming others and shit.
The conclusion is, I feel that I have no chance with her 'cause she is so perfect in many ways. I hate myself for thinking that I have a chance, I hate myself for loving her.
Okay... Mushy-ness away. Time to ROCK!!!
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